Choosing whether or not to work during your child’s illness—or having the choice made for you out of necessity—is very personal. Your family may depend on your continuing to work, whether or not it is your preference. If work is very important to you, this may feel like a duel between two identities: yours as a parent, and yours as a member of the workforce. If you decide to keep working when you don’t have to for financial reasons, you may feel judged by others. You may also feel pressured, especially by family members who feel that you should be at home. 

Financial Considerations
The financial burden of caring for a sick child prompts concern and even fear in many families. If you have other children with special needs or are dependent on government support, you may already be familiar with the “system,” which is complex and challenging to navigate. Social workers are important sources of information about how to get resources for your child and family. If you are parenting alone, you will need to consider the financial resources available to you—especially if you cannot or don’t wish to work outside the home. If you are a couple or are co-parenting and have sufficient income, one of you may choose to stay home. But if you don’t have sufficient income, it’s possible that the working parent would have to take a second job to support new costs and lost wages.

Work and Identity
For many adults, working is much more than a source of income; it is a critical part of their identity. While having a sick child demands changes in priorities, wanting to achieve career goals and not lose ground may weigh heavily on some parents. Working may also provide a sense of balance and comfort. Being out of the home and in the presence of others, setting and attaining goals, and getting positive reinforcement—along with a paycheck—can be very appealing and helpful. This is a natural conflict—with a “should” answer (child first). “Should” can produce guilt in a parent who wants or needs it to work. If you have other children you may worry that you will be unable to balance all of your responsibilities—which just adds to the feelings of guilt and stress. A working parent also may feel out of touch with what is occurring at home, at medical appointments, in the clinic or at the hospital. These are topics you may wish to explore with your co-parent, possibly in the presence of a counselor. 

The Workplace
If you are working, you may have concerns about what and how much to disclose to your manager or co-workers. You may wish to start by being factual: this is what has occurred; this is what we know; this is my plan and what I need in order to work (for example, working from home, going to part-time, etc.). In the ideal scenario, colleagues will be empathetic and accommodating. Very likely your managers and co-workers will want to be helpful, but will not know what to say or do. You can help them by periodically sharing about how your child is doing and letting them know that you are comfortable talking about your child. This is a signal that it’s acceptable to have conversations about your circumstances. If an employee assistance program is available to you, the team can be very helpful as you navigate this journey and negotiate the terms of your employment.